Past Sins
by Slytherin99
Summary: Snape talks an old friend into applying for the DADA position at Hogwarts, but trouble looms when the friend's past comes back to haunt him. Post DH, Snape survived, just borrowing the characters to make a story. Luna Lovegood/OC. Rated M for safety.
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1~

May, 2010, Hogsmeade

"I don't know, Severus. It doesn't seem like a good idea."

Severus Snape frowned across the table at his old friend. "I'm not asking your opinion. I'm telling you that this is something that you could do, John."

John Worthington sighed, swirling the firewhiskey in his glass, watching the patterns as it moved. It was nice to see Severus, but he could be a real pain sometimes.

"You've been on a desk job for what, two, three years now? Face it, John." Severus paused. "They're not going to put you back on active duty. It's only a matter of time before they put you on a disability pension and put you out to pasture."

"I'm almost completely recovered-"

"You're not, John. Your leg will never be the same again. You'll always have to use a cane, always have to have pain potions, always-"

"Alright, Severus, you've made your point." He replied sharply, shifting slightly in his chair to take some of the pressure off his left leg. "I'm a cripple."

"So teach." Severus pleaded, leaning forward for emphasis. "I can recommend you to take the DADA position, McGonagall would jump at the chance to hire an experienced auror-"

"You don't owe me anything, you know."

Snape sighed. Worthington had saved him numerous times, both from close scrapes with aurors when Snape was both a Death Eater and a double agent, and had testified in his favor before the Wizengamot with Harry Potter to keep him out of Azkaban. He owed the scarred auror more than he could ever repay.

"John, you were…a friend to me when I had none, when we were students at Hogwarts-"

"Being your friend was a good way to get caught up on potions. You were four years ahead of me; you had already become a good potions maker. You were a good tutor. I couldn't have passed if it weren't for you."

"Perhaps." Severus said, taking a sip of his drink. "You helped me fend off the Marauders on more than one occasion."

"Feh." John waved dismissively. "I can't stand bullies, and that's all that bunch was. Potter's boy didn't turn out bad, though."

"No, he turned out…well."

Snape toyed with his glass for a while, thinking of his next words.

"John, would you at least apply for the position? If you don't get hired, no harm done…and if you do get hired, you have something to do. Stick with it for a year. If you decide it's not for you, well, you have some galleons in the bank and can work on finding another job."

Worthington was silent, his eyes studying his empty glass.

"I'll owl McGonagall tomorrow morning at the latest, then. Merlin only knows why I would want to be a teacher, though." He growled.

"That's the spirit, John." Severus smiled.

"Oh, sod off, Snape." John laughed. "You knew I was desperate."

They enjoyed a good laugh, and then parted ways; Snape back to Hogwarts, Worthington back to his cramped one bedroom flat near the Three Broomsticks. Snape was feeling so cheerful that he actually smiled at several students in the hall, scaring them half to death.

August, 2010, Hogwarts

A terrible silence reigned in the Great Hall. Students, teachers, even Headmistress McGonagall sat speechless, eyes wide in shock. Even Snape was stunned into immobility.

"You…you bastard! You have some nerve, you son of a bitch!" Shrieked Professor Lovegood, her blue eyes cold with fury.

She stood before John Worthington, who McGonagall had just introduced as the new Professor for DADA studies. His face bore a red handprint that matched her right hand exactly; his left ear was ringing. He held his hands rigidly at his sides, having dropped his cane, his eyes on the floor.

"Mommy?"

Both Professors, Lovegood and Worthington, turned to the speaker, a tiny little girl. She clutched a teddy bear that was dressed in a wizard's robes to her tightly, her blue eyes wide with fear.

"It's alright, baby." Luna Lovegood said, picking up the little girl in a hug. "Mommy's not angry at you. Mommy would never be angry at you, baby."

"Headmistress," Luna said over her shoulder, comforting her daughter as best she could, "I apologize for my actions. We will discuss this later in my office, after I see to my daughter, alright?"

"Of…of course, Professor Lovegood." McGonagall said crisply, having for the most part recovered from her shock. "I will see you in my office after you take Elizabeth to her daycare."

Not even giving Worthington so much as a second glance, Luna walked briskly past him, out of the Great Hall. The students hushed as she passed, not wanting to incur her wrath.

"John?"

Worthington blinked in surprise.

"Here is your cane," Snape said, handing it to him and taking him gently by the arm. "You might want to sit down before you fall down."

He allowed Snape to guide him back to his seat, where he sat down heavily. His left hand-the bad side-was shaking violently.

"Professor Worthington," McGonagall said quietly from her seat on the other side of Severus' "You have some explaining to do. After breakfast, you will come to my office."

John felt numb inside. That little girl. Blue eyes…and black hair. The same color as his. He felt sick. She looked to be about six years old, about the right amount of time…but Luna –he winced at the thought of her name- never had send word, never had owled him.

"I am surprised that you did not defend yourself, John." Severus said, pouring himself some coffee. "Your reflexes are slowing down. Back when you were working as an auror-"

"She had every right to do what she did, Severus." John said bitterly. "I don't deserve defending."

The shakes were subdued by the time he arrived at the Headmistress' office, mainly due to some more pain relief potion and some bluish potion that Severus had given him. "It's something I made up to relieve the after effects of the _Crucio_." Snape had said, walking him to the Headmistress' office.

"Headmistress," Snape said once they had arrived, "As I recommended John for this post, I would like to hear his…explanation of this incident. While I'm sure there is a good reason for this happening, I would like to hear it first-hand."

Minerva frowned. John Worthington and Severus Snape had been thick as thieves when they were students, and she wasn't sure she wanted Snape to stay.

"Very well. You may stay, but if I ask you to leave, you must do so without argument."

"Agreed, Headmistress." Snape replied silkily.

Minerva turned steel gray eyes on John.

"Professor Worthington, can you explain why my Transfiguration professor attacked you this morning when you were introduced?"

John sighed heavily, shifting to his right in the chair to take some weight off his left hip.

"I was just as surprised as everyone else, Headmistress." He said.

"Everyone was surprised," Minerva said softly. "Professor Lovegood has been very professional, and an asset to our staff ever since joining us two years ago. I recruited her myself from the Beauxbartons Transfiguration School, where she was teaching after she received her doctorate. I have personally never heard her raise her voice, much less her hand, to anyone. I'm very interested to find out why she attacked you."

The door opened, and in walked Professor Lovegood herself, her face flushed from running up the stairs. Snape intercepted her.

"Your wand, Professor." He said calmly, holding out his hand. The petite blond glared up at him for a moment.

"Why?"

"Because," Snape said softly, "Not thirty minutes ago you struck a member of the faculty. I will be taking his wand as well. My apologies, but it is better to be careful."

She sighed and handed over her wand to Snape, who quietly collected John's wand as well. Minerva nodded in approval.

"Have a seat, Professor Lovegood." She said, waving at the chair next to John's.

"I'd prefer to stand, Headmistress."

"Sit." Minerva said, eyes flashing for a moment. Luna sat down in the chair next to John's, pointedly scooting it away from him a few inches, pointedly not looking in his direction. She clamped her hands between her legs, hoping no one had noticed how they were shaking. _It's because I'm so angry with him_, she thought.

"Where were we, now?" Minerva said, steepling her fingers under her chin. "Ah, yes…Professor Worthington, you were about to tell me why my Transfiguration professor might be angry with you."

"I can tell you." Luna interrupted. "He's Elizabeth's father."

For the second time that day, both Snape and the Headmistress were struck speechless. Professor Lovegood had been rather unwilling to take a position at Hogwarts, mainly because she was a single mother. Only the appointment of a house elf dedicated to Elizabeth's care and preliminary education convinced her to come. She had never said anything about her daughter's father, or the circumstances of her conception. While Luna was a very open and honest person, she was intensely private when it came to Elizabeth.

"Professor Worthington, "Minerva said softly, "Is this true? You are Elizabeth's father?"

John slumped in his chair a bit more.

"I-I could not say that I'm not, Headmistress." He said, careful not to look in Luna's direction. For all he knew, she was ready to cast a wordless hex on him the moment he misspoke. "We were…together for a while, but I was given an assignment-"

"You disappeared! I tried to reach you, but you never answered my owls!" Luna snapped, her eyes darkening dangerously.

"Professor Lovegood, that will be enough of that." Minerva said coolly, noting that Severus had quietly moved behind Luna's chair, ready to intercept her if she attacked John again.

"Headmistress, Professor Worthington, if I may?" Severus said, turning to face Luna, partially blocking John from her view. "There may be a very good reason why your owls went unanswered."

"Really? For two years?" Luna scoffed, her arms folded, glaring up at Snape.

"Indeed. I know for a fact," Snape continued, "that Professor Worthington was physically unable to respond. He was in the critical care ward for Magical Injuries at St. Mungo's until September of 2005."

Luna felt her anger deflating like a balloon, despite her best efforts to keep it.

"When was the last time you sent him an owl?" Snape asked, with a significant glance at Minerva.

"2005…May, I think…" Luna said softly, the barest trace of ire in her voice.

"What will settle this affair to your satisfaction?" Minerva asked gently. "The school year is about to begin. I cannot have two members of my staff at each other's throats, and I'm sure that it's nothing you want to subject Elizabeth to. Merlin knows, that sweet child deserves better than to see her parents fighting."

Luna's eyes fixed on the Headmistress, anger rising yet again.

"I don't want anything…from …HIM." She hissed, eyes flashing. "I require no child support, no claim of fatherhood, nothing."

"All the same, I will NOT tolerate another outburst like we had this morning, especially in front of the students." Minerva replied, meeting Luna's gaze steadily. "If you cannot be civil to Professor Worthington, you will say nothing to him."

Turning to John, Minerva eyed him with concern. He had said nothing in his own defense.

"Professor Worthington, do you have anything to say in this matter?"

"No, Headmistress. I'll keep to my office and my classroom, and have my meals sent up to my quarters."

Minerva sighed. It was going to be a long year at this rate.

"Very well. Professor Lovegood, you have no reason to go to the DADA classroom, or to the DADA professor's office anyway. Professor Worthington, if you need to communicate with Professor Lovegood, do so through an intermediary."

She studied the two Professors; one sullen and pouting, the other quietly studying his shoes.

"Is that acceptable?" She asked sharply.

"Yes, Headmistress." Luna replied. John nodded his head in assent.

"Dismissed." Minerva sighed.

"You know you can trust me, John." Severus said, using his wand to _Scorgify_ the dust that lay in a thin layer on the windowsill in the living quarters reserved for the DADA professor. John said nothing, quietly unpacking his trunk once he had enlarged it.

"I confess I'm a bit surprised, but she is quite a lovely witch-"

"Shut it, Severus."

Snape sighed and put his wand away. "This isn't going to help matters, you know."

John steadfastly ignored him, hanging some suits in his wardrobe.

"You can't hole up here like some kind of hermit. You'll have to come out at some point, and what happens when you run into her?" Severus asked gently.

"I'll walk away." John replied. "And I'll be turning in my resignation as soon as the six months is up." He was referring to the Hogwarts policy that a new teacher could not leave until after their six months' probation was ended.

"You'll do no such thing!" Severus snapped. "Are you mad? You are the most qualified person to apply for this position in the past ten years-"

"Well, you can have the DADA position, then, Severus. Merlin knows you deserve it, as many times as you've put in for it."

"Nonsense." Snape replied, "You are far more qualified than I. Your work against the Dark Lord proves it. If it hadn't been for you at Llonsgate-"

"That wasn't that bad, you know that."

"I was nearly found out, nearly exposed as a double agent." Severus said, placing a hand on John's shoulder. "You managed to get me out of there before the other Aurors arrived. You risked everything for me."

"You're my friend, Severus." John said quietly, gazing out the window at the blue sky. "I never really believed you were a Death Eater."

Time passed, and the school year began. Professors Lovegood and Worthington carefully avoided each other, with some success until the Headmistress finally put her foot down and demanded that John eat in the Great Hall with the other teachers. She made sure that Luna and John were seated at opposite ends of the staff table, with Snape sitting next to John and Hagrid seated next to Luna. The rumor mill was in full swing, and Minerva was determined to not let it get any further out of hand that it was already.

Luna was furious, but she kept herself tightly in check. Partly because on the day the Headmistress had made the seating arrangements, she had brought Elizabeth with her to dinner as a treat, not knowing that HE would be there. She stifled her anger and smiled gently at her daughter. _Just put up with it, it can't last that long. You're better than this,_ she thought. Until Elizabeth turned to her, thoughtfully chewing on the end of her crayon that she had been coloring with as they waited for the food to be served.

"Mommy, why are you so angry at Professor Worthington?"

Luna flushed scarlet, looking away quickly. _Oh, dear Merlin!_

"I…I'm not really angry with him, sweetheart," she fumbled, struggling to find words.

"You hit him and called him ugly things." Her daughter said matter-of-factly, her eyes sad. "Are you going to hit him again?"

_Oh, boy. This is not going well._ Luna thought, beginning to panic a bit.

"Elizabeth, this is…difficult for me to talk about," She said nervously. "You see, Professor Worthington and I had a disagreement a long time ago, and it was just a shock to see him here at Hogwarts. I lost my temper that day. I'm sorry you had to see it."

Elizabeth frowned.

"I like living at Hogwarts." She said.

"Me, too, honey." Luna sighed.

John was walking in the garden, trying to get some strength back into his nearly useless left leg. He struggled to make it to a bench, sitting down heavily, and dabbed at the sweat on his forehead with his handkerchief. Avoiding meals in the Great Hall wasn't just a way for him to avoid Luna; it cut down considerably on the amount of walking he had to do. He felt so weak these days; his bum leg limited what he could do, punishing him severely with cramps and pain at night if he was so careless as to overdo it during the day. He made sure his cane was within reach, and then tried to relax a bit before tackling the walk to the Great Hall for lunch, closing his eyes for just a moment in the pleasant sunny day.

"Why do you carry a stick everywhere?"

He started at the voice, sitting up to find the girl from that first day in front of him. _Luna's daughter…my daughter._ He squashed that last thought, pushing it away.

"Oh, you startled me." He said, trying to keep from sounding as nervous as he felt. "Elizabeth, isn't it?"

"Yes, sir." She smiled, dimples appearing in her cheeks. "What do you have to carry that stick around all the time?"

"Oh…Um, I…" He sighed, deciding that the best thing to do was just tell her. "Elizabeth, I was injured a long time ago, and my left leg doesn't work very well. So I need my cane to walk."

"Will it get better?" She asked, curious.

"I…don't know."

"Why?"

John sighed. Children were something he wasn't very comfortable around.

"Because magic caused the injuries. Some of the damage is permanent, I'm afraid."

"Oh." She said, her expression turning thoughtful. "Well, 'bye!"

She turned and dashed off, leaving him thoroughly confused. He sighed and with an effort, got up from the bench. If he left now, he should be able to catch Severus to see about getting some more pain reliever potion, as well as the bluish potion that worked so well to relieve the tremors in his leg and arm.

_I'm little more than a cripple, and virtually a junkie_, he thought as he limped along the corridor toward the Great Hall. _I should have stayed in Hogsmeade_.

Author's note: Please read and review, feed the muse!


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2~

Lunch was just as awkward as dinner had been the evening before for Luna. At least Elizabeth had to take lunch with her daycare, as this was a Tuesday and her schedule did not permit taking her daughter to lunch with her. She didn't have to field her daughter's many questions in public. It was bad enough having to deal with it in private. She had been reading Elizabeth a story before bedtime, but had been interrupted constantly. Elizabeth was asking all sort of questions about magic, about how it could be used to hurt people, and why can't Professor Worthington's leg be healed?

She pressed her hands to her forehead, shutting her eyes tightly and stifling a yawn. Even after she had gotten Elizabeth to bed, she had slept fitfully herself. Hagrid wasn't there today, so she had a clear view of the table. She cast a sidelong glance down at the object of most of her ire.

He was just sitting there; looking across the Great Hall, half listening to something that Professor Snape was talking quietly about. Luna frowned. _He could at least have combed his hair, it looks awful,_ she thought. Quickly, she banished the thought from her mind. _What do I care if he doesn't take care of himself? _She fumed silently, _he should have stayed gone. He had no right to come here. I should just-_

"Knut for your thoughts, dear?" The Headmistress said as she sat down next to Luna, smiling kindly.

"Hello, Headmistress, I was just going-"She began, suddenly feeling rather uncomfortable.

"You have nowhere to be for at least an hour, dear." Minerva purred, fixing Luna to her seat with her gray eyes. "I came down here to talk to you about this little feud that you seem determined to pursue."

"I wasn't-"

"Silence." Minerva snapped, losing her smile for only an instant. "I will talk. You will listen, young lady. When I am finished, you may speak. Then, and only then."

Luna meekly nodded her head, afraid to speak. The Headmistress' temper was the stuff of legends-or nightmares, depending on whether you were on the receiving end of it or not.

"I am growing quite weary of everyone having to walk on eggshells around you, Professor. Especially Professor Worthington. While I can understand you are upset with him, it seems to me that you are more interested in remaining angry at him than you are in settling the dispute! Now, I saw you watching him, and-"

"I can't look where I please?" Luna said, regretting as soon as the last word was spoken.

The Headmistress cast a wandless _Silenceo_ around them, adding a _Notice-me-not_ charm. When she turned back to Luna, her eyes were flashing.

"Professor Lovegood." She growled, "What part of 'you do not speak until I finish' do you not understand?"

Luna's mouth sagged open, and then shut. She nodded her head.

"As I was saying before I was interrupted," Minerva continued, glaring at Luna, "I couldn't help but notice you watching Professor Worthington. Do you take pleasure in watching him suffer?"

"I-No, Headmistress! I would never-"

"I see. You are angry with him, yet you do not wish him harm." Minerva said dryly. "May it be safe to assume that you will not strike him again, or use the…less savory words in your vocabulary when speaking to him? Or must I continue to worry about keeping you two separated, like squabbling children?"

"Headmistress, I'm sure you've already noticed that there have been no further incidents. The…incident you refer to happened nearly two months ago." Luna nervously wiped her hands on her blue jeans, under her robes. Worse than that, Snape was watching them with keen interest, despite the _Notice-me-not_ charm. _Snarky git can probably hear us despite the Silenceo, too,_ she thought bitterly.

Snape frowned at her, shaking his head, then turned away to speak to Worthington.

"Ahem."

"What?" Luna blurted out, surprised. "Um, I'm sorry, Headmistress-"

"You were looking at him again, were you not?" Minerva sighed. "You haven't heard anything that I've said these past few minutes."

Luna blushed furiously. She wanted to crawl under the table, to be anywhere but under the Headmistress' scrutiny.

The headmistress said nothing for a long while, leaning back in her chair and studying Luna carefully. This was worse than her talking, because anyone who knew her well enough-as Luna did by now-knew that meant that she was thinking about the situation, analyzing it. Finally, Minerva leaned forward and spoke the words that Luna feared most.

"You're still in love with him, aren't you?" She said bluntly, her eyes piercing. Luna shrank back in her chair, fighting the impulse to flee.

"I…NO!" Luna stammered. She couldn't meet the Headmistress' eyes, panic rising in her in a tidal wave of mixed emotions.

"The lady doth protest too much." Minerva said wryly, waving to a house elf. "Tea, please."

Luna felt faint.

"Headmistress, I am not in love with him." She said rapidly, her voice shaky. "We had a brief affair, he dumped me and ran off to Merlin knows where, leaving me to have…Elizabeth."

Minerva cocked an eyebrow at her, stirring some sugar into her tea.

"I hate him; I never wanted to see him again!" Luna continued, "Then he showed up here…at Hogwarts. You told me to tolerate him, but that's all I will do. I'll be professional, but I'm not going to socialize with him!"

"And what of Elizabeth?" Minerva said, blowing on her tea to cool it before taking a sip. "Have you told her that he is her father?"

"I…" Luna desperately fumbled for words, her careful self-control beginning to crack.

"Luna," The Headmistress said, setting her cup and saucer down and taking Luna's shaking hands in her own. "At some point, you must let go of this anger that you hold against John, before it consumes you. Elizabeth was already frightened half to death when you confronted him at his introduction. She sees more than you think she does, you know."

"I…can't, Headmistress…" Luna replied softly, a single tear escaping her eye to roll down her cheek. "It…it hurts-"

Minerva sighed.

"Have you considered talking to him?" She asked. "The only side you really know is your own, after all."

"I…I can't," Luna said, yanking her hands from Minerva's, looking for the entire world like a frightened deer, desperate to escape. "I mean, after not seeing anything of him for nearly seven years, and the first thing I do is assault him, why would he want to talk to me? I-"

"Try it." Minerva replied, recapturing one of Luna's hands to stroke it with hers, trying to calm the younger woman down a bit. "You don't have to do much, just speak to him pleasantly. Try saying 'Hello', or perhaps a minor question. Nothing too strenuous at first."

Luna shook her head. "I just can't."

"You have one week to speak to him, normally, without showing your temper." Minerva said dryly. "You need to do this, dear. I know you aren't sleeping well; I can see the shadows under your eyes."

"I.."

"No, this is what you must do. Speak to him. Engage him in conversation, but do not mention your…disagreement." Minerva said firmly, releasing her hand to pick up her teacup. "You will report back to me once a week until you are talking to him on a regular basis, at least as often as you speak to other professors. I wish to have some semblance of harmony and goodwill within my staff, for the sake of our students. Surely you've noticed that most of them avoid you like the plague? I do believe that Snape is concerned that you are usurping his title as scariest professor amongst the students."

Luna found herself fighting to suppress a giggle at the thought of that, Snape being jealous of her for frightening students.

"I'm sure that Professor Snape is far more advanced than I when it comes to scaring students, Headmistress." She smiled wanly.

Minerva smiled back at her warmly. "So, you'll do it?"

"I'll try." Luna said softly, looking at her hands. "It's not easy, you know."

"That's all I ask, dear." Said the Headmistress, canceling the charms that guaranteed their privacy. "Come talk to me whenever you need to. I try to take care of everyone here, you know."

…..

Snape intercepted her in the hallway a week later, as she made her way to the Great Hall for dinner. Luna sighed and sent Elizabeth ahead with Professor Sprout, as she was fairly certain she did not want her daughter hearing whatever Snape had to say, judging from the look on his face.

"Professor Lovegood, a word, if I may." Snape said in his deep, silky voice.

"Just a word, Professor Snape." She replied, the faintest bit of curtness showing in her tone. "I need to get to dinner. My daughter-"

"Is in fine hands with Pomona, I assure you."

"I suppose that you intend to lecture me about taking points from your house." Luna said frostily. "Transfiguration can be just as hazardous as Potions, I'll have you know-"

"That is the least of my concern, Professor." Snape replied. "I need to discuss your…grudge that you insist on harboring against my dearest friend."

"Oh, that." Luna snapped, digging her nails into her palms. "You and your…friend. Such a noble, loyal, trustworthy _friend_ you have there."

Snape glared down at her for a moment, and then grabbed her hand, dragging her into a vacant classroom. Slamming the door and warding it with his wand, he towed her behind him like a kite, her feet scarcely touching the floor. Luna snatched her hand out of his grasp and reached the door just as the locks snapped into place, effectively trapping her with him.

She sighed in frustration, turning to glare up at him.

"Now, you will listen to me." He said sharply, his dark eyes locked to her blue ones. "I do not think you are being entirely fair to John."

"I don't want to hear it, Severus. He abandoned us-"

"Stop it. You're acting like a child. He would have had to have known about Elizabeth to have abandoned you, and you know it. This is a misunderstanding that you have inflated into a major grudge, vilifying the character of one of the finest men I've ever known. I-"

"I-"

"No, you will listen!" Severus said darkly, "or do I need to cast _Langlock_ on you?"

Luna crossed her arms defiantly and settled for glaring at him. She was so angry that she was trembling, but she didn't want to cross wands with Snape right now.

"Minerva mentioned to me that she asked you to talk to him." Snape continued.

Luna groaned inwardly; that had slipped her mind completely. She knew that the Headmistress would be rather displeased with her.

"She did. I…" Luna swallowed, searching for the best way to put things. "I just have been rather busy…"

"So you haven't spoken with him at all? Not even once in passing?"

"No." Luna sighed. "I don't get in that part of the castle much, near the DADA classroom."

Snape's face softened, his eyes becoming gentler.

"Luna," He said, "You need to talk to him. He's tormenting himself over this. I've done everything I can short of dragging him up to Poppy to have her force-feed him."

"He…he's not eating?" Luna said, somewhat confused by Snape's sudden shift in mood.

"Yes, and worse." Snape ran a hand through his lank hair in exasperation. "He's drinking more, eating less, not taking care of himself. I…"

He looked warily at Luna for a moment.

"What? What are you not telling me, Snape?" She asked anxiously.

"I cannot say."

"No! There's something else…" Luna insisted.

"I…had to cover his class for him this morning, until noon." Snape sighed.

"What? What do you mean?"

"I used Polyjuice potion to…impersonate him." Snape admitted, leaning against a desk. "He had a rather…difficult night last night."

"What else?" Luna asked, even more suspicious now that Snape had told her this much. Suddenly she had a thought, one that curled icy fingers of fear around her heart. "It's not the…curse, is it?"

"What?" Snape said, startled. "Oh, that. No, the curse was lifted with the death of the Dark Lord, so that's not the problem. No, John's problem is…self-inflicted, so to speak."

Luna felt her knees giving way, Snape catching her by her arms as the room swam before her eyes. _ Oh, John…_ she thought, her gut twisting with a spasm of nausea. Snape gently guided her to a chair to sit, saying nothing until she got herself somewhat under control.

"That's it, Luna," He said softly, "Deep breaths. Steady, now."

"Severus…did he-"

"No, no." He replied. "Nothing like that…he's just harming himself in more subtle ways. Alcohol reacts with the potion he takes for chronic pain, and of course not eating right is making things worse."

"Oh, my…" Luna realized, now she was looking at Snape directly, that he was worn and haggard-more so than usual. "You-"

"Yes," Snape sighed, sitting down next to her. "I spent last night with him. It was…difficult for him."

"His leg?"

"His leg, Luna, is the least of his problems." Snape said softly, rubbing his chin thoughtfully. "Most of it, I can only guess, as the nature of the work he was doing as an Auror was…rather sensitive, especially during the war."

"So he hasn't even told you." She said, hugging herself. There was no fire lit in the classroom, but fall was approaching.

"No. I don't think he would tell anyone…he prefers to keep quiet. To keep it buried."

"Like a certain Potions master." She said wryly, poking him in the arm.

"Indeed." Severus smiled thinly. "Perhaps that's why I understand him so well."

They sat there for a while longer, listening to sounds of the castle. Mostly the silence of ancient stone, punctuated by footsteps in the hall outside and the occasional chatter of students on their way to dinner in the Great Hall.

"So what should I do, Severus?" She asked. "Assuming I can put my …grudge aside for now?"

"Do what Minerva suggested, Luna. Talk to him. Little things at first, moving to more as he is comfortable." Severus studied her for a moment. "Surely you can understand why he's a bit uneasy around you. After all, you can hit pretty hard."

"For a girl?"

Snape smiled a bit at that.

"I was impressed. Of course, your robes concealed your levitating yourself a bit so you could reach him, and you didn't dare add too much magic to the slap. Lest you get in even more trouble."

"Oh…" Luna blushed. "So were you the only one who noticed?"

"No."

"Oh, Merlin…" She sighed. "I really made a fool of myself that day, didn't I?"

"Well, I don't believe anyone will want to be on your bad side. It certainly impressed the students."

"Don't remind me…" Luna groaned.

"Shall we go to dinner?" Snape said, unlocking and unwarding the door as he moved toward it. "It's Chicken Primevera tonight, I don't want to miss it."

Snape allowed her to go first, following her into the Great Hall a few minutes later. Elizabeth saw her come in, and jumped down from the staff table platform to race to her mother. Luna picked her up in a warm hug, carrying her daughter as she kept up a constant stream of chatter about her day with the house elves in daycare. She enjoyed such things in life most of all; it reminded her of happier days. As she reached the staff table, she noticed something amiss.

Filch was talking urgently and quietly to the Headmistress. Severus passed her, quickly walking up to the table to join in on the hushed conversation. Abruptly, the Headmistress stood up and left the staff table with Filch and Snape following close behind. As they swept past Luna, McGonagall shot her a withering glare.

She glanced over at the end of the table, where John should be sitting, knowing that he wasn't there. She sighed and went to Professor Sprout.

"Pomona…" She began.

"Of course, dear." Professor Sprout said cheerfully. "I'd be happy to take care of Elizabeth."

For just a moment, the friendly smile slipped from her face, and Sprout gave Luna a stern look once Elizabeth was busy coloring.

"You'd better hurry. They're headed up to the Astronomy tower." Sprout whispered. "From what I heard, it's bad this time."

Luna paled and hurried from the Great Hall to catch up with the Headmistress. As she reached them, Minerva's voice drifted back to her.

"So nice of you to join us, Professor Lovegood." The scathing words felt sharp as knives to Luna.

"Minerva, please desist." Snape hissed. "We may have enough to deal with without upsetting Luna further."

"Snape, I cannot tolerate this any longer." Snapped the Headmistress as they reached the stairs to the Astronomy tower, Filch having gone ahead. "If he is drunk, I'm going to fire him."

"He's not drunk, Minerva." Snape said, exasperation showing in his voice, his fine self-control slipping. "He's suffering. His medications-"

"That you so willingly provide, Severus!" Minerva growled, stabbing a bony finger at Snape. "If he is unable to perform his duties as DADA professor, he needs to go!"

Luna gasped in surprise, drawing the Headmistress' attention. Minerva spun around, fixing her with a steely glare.

"And as for you, young lady," She huffed, "I suppose you haven't spoken to him, as I asked you to do?"

Luna opened her mouth, and then closed it, thoroughly miserable. She could say nothing to deny the Headmistress' accusation.

"Stubborn girl." Minerva spat, turning to continue up the stairs.

Filch was next to John as he lay on the stone floor of the Astronomy tower. The old squib frowned at them, holding up an empty vial for them to see as they drew nearer.

"Dreamless Sleep." Filch said, his voice a mixture of disapproval and sadness. "Looks like he drank the whole vial."

**Author's note: Please read and review, feed the muse! **


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3~**

The light seemed too bright. Far too bright. John turned his head away from the light, slowly opening his eyes. _I'm in the infirmary_, he thought, waking up slowly. _The high, gray ceiling, the smell of disinfectant, this is…_

He turned his head, wincing at the pain in his neck as he did so, squinting against the daylight to peer out the window. In the distance, he could clearly see the Whomping Willow. He'd seen this view before, back when…

…_when I brought Snape here, after Nagini bit him. This is the restricted wing of the infirmary, where they would hide teachers who were injured…and Snape when he incurred the Dark Lord's displeasure._

He turned away from the light, looking for the bell to call Poppy; he was desperately thirsty. His mouth felt like it was stuffed with cotton. Raising his head as much as he could from the pillow, he looked around the room.

Luna Lovegood was in a chair next to the bed, her head resting on her arms as she slept.

He gently lowered his head back to the pillow.

_Shit_. _What the hell is SHE doing here?_

He lay there a while, considering his options. He could do nothing. He rejected that right away, since he knew that would only prolong the inevitable confrontation. Risking another glance at her, he realized that the bell cord was in her right hand-the one farthest from him. _Doubtful I could get to it without waking her up_, he thought. _I doubt that I can even get up off the bed far enough that I could even reach it._

That left the third, and possibly the least pleasant option: waking her up.

Bracing himself for the results, he sat up as far as he could.

"Hey…" He croaked faintly. He sighed with disgust, his arms trembling as he fought to remain sitting up. She slept on, with not even a murmur to indicate she'd heard him.

"Hey!" He managed to croak a bit louder. This time she sighed a bit in her sleep.

_Shit. I can barely hear myself, much less be loud enough to wake her up._

He allowed his head to flop back down on the pillow, and then rested for a minute, just until he'd caught his breath. _All this work for a drink of water…_

He stretched his right hand out toward her arm slowly, finding her fingers, which curled around his. She sighed and lifted her head, blinking slowly at him, her blue eyes focusing dreamily on his face.

With a gasp, she jerked her hand away from his as if she'd been burned.

"Water. Please." He whispered faintly. _Can she even hear me?_ He thought. His throat felt like it had been sandpapered.

She stood up, nearly tipping the chair over, and fled from the room.

John sighed heavily in defeat.

A few minutes later, Luna surprised him by walking back in with a cup in her hand, Poppy right behind her. Poppy pulled out her wand and began running some diagnostic spells on him.

"Luna, be careful." She warned, indicating the cup with her free hand. "Just a few chips of ice at a time. He's still very weak, it's still too soon. I never expected that he would wake up this soon. I swear, he has the constitution of an ox!"

_This soon? How long have I been out?_ He wondered.

Luna silently offered him a few chips of ice, slipping them deftly between his lips, the touch of her fingers electric to him.

"You're a very lucky young man, you know." Poppy said as she ran her tests, giving him her best healer-patient lecture voice. "You were very sick, nearly lost you the first night."

"How…long…?" He managed to whisper, in between chips of ice. He kept his eyes on Poppy; he was afraid to look at Luna. He wasn't sure he wanted to see what her eyes were like.

"Well…hmm…about eight days." Poppy said crisply, putting her wand away. "You're going to have to stay here for a few more days, until you recover. Can't teach if you can't talk, you know. Or stand up."

Poppy glanced at Luna, and then smiled at John. Beckoning for Luna to help, she quickly propped John up so that he was sitting up slightly in the bed, instead of flat.

"Well, I have a whole mess of first years to remove scales from, thanks to a clumsy Gryffindor adding too much grackle spleen to a cauldron containing aconite. Terrible mess, it is. I'll just leave you in the hands of your capable nurse here. Be back to check you around dinnertime."

_Don't leave me here with her…_ he found himself thinking.

Luna sat in her chair, studying the cup of ice as if it were fascinating. It reminded him of when he had first met her, as a sixth-year student.

_The evening of May 1, 1998~_

"Secure the corridor, John." Kingsley Shacklebolt said, his wand still held at the ready. "Make sure the students are safe."

John Worthington checked the corridor, taking up a post by the doorway of the Great Hall. Shacklebolt had selected him for his size as well as his magical ability; he was 6' 2" and powerfully built, having been on the Slytherin Quiddich team during his time at Hogwarts as a beater with a fearsome reputation on a broom. Wand at the ready, he walked toward a petite blond who seemed to be aimlessly wandering the corridor, looking up at the rafters.

"Pardon, me, Miss…" He said firmly, yet kindly ("Don't frighten the students, John," Shacklebolt had warned him earlier), "It's not safe to be wandering the halls."

"Oh…hello." The tiny blond girl gazed up at him with a dreamy expression, with bright blue eyes framed in a perfect china doll face. "Have you been troubled with Nargles your whole life?"

"What? No! I…" John stammered, taken aback by her question. "There's no such thing as a Nargle, young lady!"

"You're very tall." She said calmly, putting on a set of Spectrespecs and peering at him closely. "How tall are you? Do you ever bump your head?"

For a moment, John was completely flabbergasted. The girl frowned, and then waved a hand toward his left shoulder.

"Go on, now. Shoo." She said firmly. "He seems like a nice man, you nasty Nargles. Leave him alone."

_She's crackers. Completely mad_, he thought, backing away slightly.

"I won't hurt you." She said, taking off the Spectrespecs and holding her hand out. "I'm Luna Lovegood. Nice to meet you, Mr. Very Tall Man."

He paused, then shifted his wand to his left and hesitantly took her hand in his right.

"I'm John Worthington, an Auror working with Kingsley Shacklebolt, Miss Lovegood."

She wrapped her free hand around his; her hands were cold.

"You have warm hands, Mr. John Worthington." Luna smiled gently. "No wonder that Nargles flock to you. You never shoo them away, do you?"

John looked around, becoming more nervous by the minute. A teenage girl was holding his hand, nattering on about Nargles and other imaginary creatures. This was very bad.

"A pleasure to meet you, Miss Lovegood, but duty calls. And you really need to get yourself to the Great Hall, where you'll be safe." He said, pulling his hand from her grasp.

She looked up at him with those lovely blue eyes for a long moment, and then nodded her head.

"You stay safe, too, Mr. John Worthington." She smiled enigmatically, then skipped as she went to the Great Hall, humming a tune as she went.

John sighed, scanning the hall again. This looked to be a very long night.

_September, 2010~_

"Professor Worthington? Are you still there?" Luna said sharply, snapping her fingers in front of his face.

He blinked at her, clearing away the fog of his memories. She sat a small tray with a bowl of thin soup on it on the table next to the bed and sat down, picking up the bowl and a spoon.

"Poppy thought you might like some soup," She said, blowing on it to cool it a bit. "That is, if you trust me to feed you."

"You've done fine with the ice and the water, so I feel safe enough." he rasped, regretting the words as soon as he said them. Some odd expression flickered over her face, then she had composed herself and it was gone, replaced with the same neutral mask she was wearing before he spoke. He swallowed nervously, thinking _Bloody hell! Why do I always manage to say exactly the most stupid things to her?_

For her part, she acted as if he hadn't said anything, though inside she simmered with anger for a while longer. Minerva had taken over her classes, demanding that she care for him. _I should dump this soup over his head, the cheeky bastard._ She sighed inwardly. _Remember, it's not his fault. He never knew about Elizabeth. He never got my owls. He-_

"Professor Worthington, why did you never contact me after you got out of St. Mungo's?" She stirred the soup, waiting for him to reply. He closed his eyes for a moment, and gave a long sigh. _Good_, she thought, _that means he's going to tell me the truth. I remember he does that when he's being honest. He looks away and purses his lips when he's going to tell a lie._

_How did I know that, after all this time? And remember it just now?_ She was so shocked that she nearly dropped the spoon, nearly missed what his answer was.

"I'm sorry, could you repeat that?" She said, blushing slightly.

"I said, I didn't figure you wanted any contact from me." He repeated. "After all, I am sixteen years older than you. I figured you'd found someone else, some one less…"

"Less what?"

"Someone less…broken." He said quietly, his cheeks coloring.

She said nothing, just fed him the soup, a spoonful at a time, effectively ending the conversation. His voice was nearly gone, anyway. Luna then gave him doses of Dreamless Sleep potion and a pain-relieving potion that Snape had brought up just that day. It didn't take long for him to slip into the deep sleep characteristic of the former potion.

Try as she might, she was having difficulty staying angry at him, and that frightened her. She was proud that she had managed her life so well, even finishing college and graduate school, then finding a good job, all as a single mother. She had little need for a man in her life, it was going just fine.

_Until you came around_, she thought as she looked at the man on the bed, his face for once one of agony, but of peaceful rest. _He could be dead, except I can see him breathing_.

_He should be dead,_ she thought, shuddering at the scars she'd seen on him, all down the left side of his body. Poppy had insisted that she stay and help remove his clothing and put a hospital gown on him, saying, "You've seen the goods before, dear. No need to be so shy." As they cleaned him up, she'd asked Poppy what caused scars like that.

"Fiendfyre." Said the healer, sponging off the dirt with warm water. "Awful stuff, should be an Unforgivable. Looks like he was caught in it, or went through it. These burns are pretty shallow."

"These are not bad?!" Luna said, shocked at how casual Poppy seemed. They seemed terrible to her eyes.

"Luna, if he were caught in the full force of it, he'd probably be dead…or so maimed he'd want to be dead. Fiendfyre, even this minimal an exposure, damages the nerves. It's almost as if the pain never stops. I've seen patients go mad from it."

"So…" Luna said, looking carefully at the scars, her voice doubtful, "He's 'lucky'?"

"If you want to see it that way. He probably doesn't." Poppy finished drying John off, then picked up the gown to drape over him. Luna still blushed, even though they were covering his body, which led Poppy to chuckle at the younger woman's discomfort.

_How long has it been like this? He didn't get burned during the war, when I was at college and we-_ she blushed, thinking of another time, long ago. He had been unmarred then, when she had shared her bed with him. No scars, just perfection, a grown man in the prime of life, so warm, so hard against her softness-

_Snap out of it_, she scolded herself. _If you get to thinking about that, you can't remain objective. You have to stay in control, to protect Elizabeth, to protect yourself._

_Why?_ A tiny voice began to nag at her. _ Are you so caught up in the part of being the noble single mum that it's all you know how to be?_

_Shut it_, she thought angrily.

_You know it's true. You also know that John never hurt you, ever. You thought he did, but you were wrong. But you hurt him._

"Merlin, I did." She said quietly in the dark room, tears rolling down her cheeks. She heard faint footsteps, and quickly dried her eyes. Someone was coming. After a moment, Headmistress McGonagall walked in. Surveying the scene, she folded her hands and looked at Luna.

"How is he?" Minerva asked quietly, so as not to disturb him.

Luna sighed and rubbed her eyes with both hands, trying to compose herself.

"He's a little better. I got him to eat some soup." She said, almost clinically. Poppy was rubbing off on her. "Could I go take a bath, check on Elizabeth, and perhaps sleep in my own bed tonight? This chair isn't very comfortable, even if I transfigure it into a bed."

"Of course. I came up here to give you a break; you deserve one after caring for him for three days straight. Severus will be up to take over after he finishes his rounds around two a.m., and then Harry Potter will be in at six to take over until the afternoon."

"Harry! I haven't seen him in ages!" Luna said, forgetting how tired she was. "Do you think he might be here still when I finish my classes tomorrow?"

"You should be able to come by to see him in the morning." Minerva smiled. "I'm going to cover your classes for one more day, and then it's the weekend. You should be all rested up and ready to take over Monday, shouldn't you?"

"Yes, of course, Headmistress."

"So…" Minerva smiled slyly at her. "Did you talk to him?"

Luna blushed.

"I…yes, Headmistress. We did talk…some."

Minerva took Luna's hand and patted it, nodding her head.

"Good. It's a start."

Luna got up and went to leave, with the Headmistress seating herself on the chair by the bed.

"Oh, and…Luna?" Minerva said, taking out a book to read.

She stopped and looked back at the Headmistress, wondering what it was now.

"Tomorrow afternoon, I want you to go talk to Severus, after his classes are over with. Get him to tell you what happened to John after the war." Minerva said, her reading glasses already perched on her nose.

"But…I already asked him about that, and he said he couldn't tell me anything."

"That doesn't mean he doesn't know. Press him a little harder, girl. It's Severus Snape, master double agent, remember? He won't tell you anything until you convince him he should."

Luna sighed, leaning against the door frame.

"So, how do I convince him to tell me what I need to know?" She said irritably.

"Be honest with him, dear. Convince him that you're not holding a grudge against his dearest friend."

Luna left the room, grumbling under her breath. _I want to check on my daughter, to get a hot bath, and a good night's sleep before I see Harry. Not to talk to Snape.  
_

….

The next morning found her headed to the infirmary before breakfast, hoping to catch Harry before John woke up. She wanted to talk to Harry, to seek his advice…to find out more about what had happened to John after the war. Snape was too close to him, she wasn't sure that he would tell her the truth of things. Harry had become an Auror shortly after the war had ended, and according to what his wife, Ginny, had told her at last year's Christmas party, he had been assigned to work with John when he completed training.

She poked her head into the room, and seeing that John was indeed still asleep, quietly rushed to Harry to give him a hug.

"How are you, Luna?" Harry whispered, leading her out of the room so their conversation wouldn't wake the patient up.

"I'm…good, Harry." Luna smiled, "How are Ginny and the kids?"

"Good, good." He replied, hesitated a moment, then said, "How is Elizabeth doing? Does she like it here at Hogwarts?"

"She's doing great, Harry. She loves spending her day with the house elves, though I suspect they are teaching her wandless magic on the sly."

Harry chuckled at that, running a hand through his messy shock of hair.

"Harry, Ginny told me a while back that when you finished your Auror training, you were assigned to work with John."

Harry's face darkened instantly.

"So," He said, "you figured that I would talk to you about working with him? Most of my work with him was classified, you know."

"Harry," Luna said anxiously, in full damage control mode now, "I'm not trying to find out anything you shouldn't talk about."

"Oh? So what is it you want to know? And why should I tell you? I heard about your little blowup in the Great Hall, you know. I heard about that, I figured you'd gone completely mad."

"Harry-"

"Luna, I don't understand why you are so pissed off at him. I'm surprised at Snape and McGonagall, letting you take care of him while he's recuperating, especially after you assaulted him."

"Harry, do you know who Elizabeth's father is?"

"No, Luna, you never told us…" Harry began, and then a look of realization came over his face. "No way…"

"Harry…" Luna said, choking back a sob, "John is Elizabeth's father. I've spent years believing that he abandoned us, that he didn't care."

"Luna…he's not like that, believe me."

"Please…" She begged, taking a double handful of his jumper, "Tell me what happened to him, what you can of it…what happened after the war?"

**Author's note: I'm still trying to get everything right with formatting, and these are the first things I've published. The Nargles tell me they'll leave me alone if I keep writing. Reviews and criticism are welcome; I'd like to make sure my readers are happy.**


	4. Chapter 4

~Chapter 4~

"Let's go somewhere else." Harry said quietly, ushering Luna out of John's hospital room.

They walked for a while, ending up at the Astronomy tower, where Harry spent several minutes looking out across the school grounds. Luna waited, outwardly calm, but seething with impatience inside.

"Luna, you know I've killed people, right?" Harry began hesitantly, leaning against the stone wall.

"Of course, Harry." She said, tucking an unruly lock of hair that had escaped her hair clip behind her ear. "Many of us have. It was part of the war."

"John has, too."

"I assume that you're going somewhere with this." She asked impatiently.

"Luna, even with all the Death Eaters I killed or arrested and sent to Azkaban, during the war and afterwards when I became an Auror…" He sighed, running a hand through his unruly black hair. "I never attracted as much hatred from them as John did."

She was silent, watching him with her big blue eyes steadily.

"What I tell you, must stay between us." He said, extending his hand. "I need an oath on it."

She blinked in surprise, but took his hand.

"I promise that what you tell me about John Worthington will never be told by me to anyone." She said, feeling the magic swirl around them as the Wizarding oath took hold.

She released his hand and lowered her arm.

"So tell me what there is to know." Luna said.

Harry hesitated for a moment, and then began to talk.

oOo

Luna lay in her bed that night, listening to her daughter-their daughter breathe as she slept. It was past midnight, and she hadn't slept at all.

Her conversation with Snape was probably the most disturbing one, far worse than what she'd learned from Harry.

As she lay there in her bed, she went over it again in her mind.

"_Professor Snape?"_

"_Yes, Professor Lovegood?" He said coldly, his quill scratching on a parchment as he marked an essay. From the looks of all the red ink, it was truly a bad one._

"_I…need to talk to you." She said firmly, using her wand to lock and ward the door to the Potions classroom._

_Snape laid down his quill after wiping the nib, glaring up at her._

"_I want to know what happened to John in 2003." She said, fighting to keep calm._

"_I am not at liberty to discuss that." He said firmly, putting the essay on the 'graded' stack and reaching for another, picking up his quill._

_Blue eyes flashing, she snatched the quill from his hand._

"_Severus Snape!" She snapped, tossing it aside. "I've already talked to Harry Potter about what happened. I want to hear what you know of it!"_

_Unperturbed by her show of anger, Snape leaned back in his chair, crossing his arms across his chest._

"_Then I'm sure you know the whole truth of things, then." He smirked._

_He's baiting me, the git, she thought._

"_My father taught me enough about publishing to verify a story," Luna said, glaring at Snape when he smirked at her mentioning her father._

"_Why are you so curious…now?" Snape asked, his voice low, his eyes locked on her blue ones. "For six years, you were perfectly content to be a single mum, to loathe him-"_

"_Enough!" She shouted, slamming her palm down on his desk, "Yes, I hated him for what he did to me, what he did to us…but…"_

_She dropped into the uncomfortable straight backed chair in front of his desk, rubbing her forehead and sighing._

"_You are having second thoughts." Snape said gently, not a trace of scorn in his voice._

_Luna looked at him, startled by the kind tone in his voice. I don't think I've ever heard Snape be so nice, ever, she thought._

"_Yes…" She whispered, pulling her hanky out and dabbing at her eyes. As she did so, she caught the slightest hint of a smirk on his face._

"_Shut it, Snape." She huffed, "So I may have been wrong about him. Haven't you ever been wrong?"_

"_Many times, Professor Lovegood."_

"_I can't say what Harry told me; he insisted that I take a Wizarding oath. You may check if you like."_

"_No need." Snape said, steepling his fingers and pursing his lips thoughtfully. "Allow me to gather my thoughts."_

"_As you wish."_

"_You know of my activity during the Wars." Snape began with a sigh. "Most everyone does by now. What you don't know is that John was my closest friend in school here at Hogwarts. He had no reason whatsoever to befriend me; he was handsome, intelligent, kind, noble, and popular with the other students._

"_Other than being sorted into Slytherin, which disappointed his parents greatly, he was a model student. Good grades, handsome, athletic, social…" Snape paused for a moment, considering what to say next. "He was, in short, everything that I was not. I disliked him intensely, at first."_

"'_At first?' What happened?"_

"_I was a 5__th__ year student when he started here at Hogwarts. In May of 1976, I took my O.W.L.s, and that afternoon…" He hesitated, closing his eyes for a moment. "Excuse me, Professor…this was a rather unpleasant event in my life."_

"_I understand, Professor." Luna said softly, still a bit amazed that Snape would discuss it at all._

"_Anyway, I was disarmed and hung upside down by one foot by James Potter, while the Marauders…and everyone else looked on. Potter…then removed my pants."_

"_Oh, Merlin…" She said, utterly shocked. "I…I'm sorry, Professor. That was wrong! Were they punished?"_

"_No." He sighed. "Later that fall, I was lured to the Shrieking Shack by Sirius Black, not knowing that Remus Lupin was inside, having taken shelter there in his werewolf form. Potter warned me off, but not because of concern for me, rather, more concern that Lupin's lycanthropy not be revealed lest he be expelled._

"_Headmaster Dumbledore failed to punish them for that, too."_

_By now, Luna was horrified._

"_That's so unfair! Was there no one to help you?" She said, outraged now._

"_Poppy mended my injuries, and tried to console me." Severus sighed. "That's the only person on the staff who tried to help. Not a single student would stick up for me. Not even Lily…not after…our disagreement._

"_Except for John." He said, rubbing his eyes. "John Worthington was one of the most stubborn and irritating boys I ever knew in school._

"_After the incident at the Shrieking Shack, he came to visit me in the Hospital wing. I was hateful to him; I didn't want to talk to anyone. I cursed him, threatened to hex him, and he just stood there looking at me._

"_Then he said, 'Severus, you need a friend. I'm willing to be your friend, whether you want me to or not.' And then he left."_

"_That was all?" Luna asked, her curiosity piqued._

"_Of course not." Severus sighed. "He wouldn't stop. Every day, he would speak to me, often just to say hello. Sometimes he would ask me questions about his homework; I knew full well he didn't need my help, so I usually shooed him away or walked off._

"_But the attacks by the Marauders stopped. I didn't realize it at first, as I was still so…heartbroken over the loss of Lily's friendship. Then just before Christmas break, I realized that Potter and his gang of thugs were avoiding me like the plague. Oh, to be sure, they still glared at me and snickered behind my back…but there were no physical attacks, no pranks, not even a cross word. It was if…they had been warned."_

"_Do you think it was John?"_

"_I have no idea." He said, frowning. "But that is enough about me. You asked about my best friend, and I will tell you what you wish to know, if you will tell me: Why do you want to know what happened to him? Is it sympathy? Pity? Perhaps…revenge?"_

"_I…I'm not sure, Professor Snape." Luna said shyly, fidgeting with her teaching robes._

"_An honest answer, as I expected from you." He smirked. "Very well. I will tell you, then."_

Now she thought about what he had revealed to her as she lay in her bed. Just the bare facts of what had been done to John were horrifying, and she was grateful that Severus had spared her most of the gory details.

In August of 2003, a week after their brief time in Bermuda when Elizabeth was conceived, John had been selected as a part of a special squad of Aurors, charged with hunting down Death Eaters. With his size, strength, and courage, as well as his command of magic, he was very good at his job, arresting or killing some 340 Death Eaters within only a few months. It did not go unnoticed.

In October, twenty Death Eaters had ambushed him in his home near Prague, nearly killing him. Most of the city block that his house was part of was destroyed, the damage blamed in the Muggle press on a gas main explosion. Most of his injuries were due to the Fiendfyre used on his home, but many were the result of torture.

"_You'll have to ask him if you want the details," Severus had said grimly, "Or contact the critical care ward at 's. I doubt they'll release his records to you, though. Poppy might be able to get them."_

She shuddered, thinking about what little Snape had been willing to tell her.

_No, thank you, Severus_, she thought. _I don't think I want to know any more. It was enough to learn that they had partially skinned his left leg, beginning at the foot, using magic to keep him awake and aware of what they were doing to him. The pain must have been awful._

_Somehow, I think I can excuse him for not replying to my owls_, she sighed, rubbing a tear away.

It was almost six a.m., nearly time to get up anyway. Throwing back the duvet, she slid out of her bed, slipping on her slippers and her bathrobe.

"Nix!" She called softly. With a _pop_, her house elf appeared.

"My, Professor is up early today." The house elf said, then frowned. "Did the nice Professor not sleep well last night? Oh, Nix should have brought you some warm milk-"

"Never mind that, Nix." Luna sighed. "I need you to take care of Elizabeth for me this morning. I have…a few things to do before school begins for the day."

oOo

He was awake when she walked into his hospital room, sitting up in the bed. John looked up in surprise as Luna sat down in the chair next to his bed and crossed her arms.

"First off, I'm still a little angry at you." She said, her blue eyes cold. "So, I may seem a bit harsh, still."

"I get that." He sighed and nodded his head.

"I want 100 Galleons a month deposited in an account at Gringott's for Elizabeth, until she is of age. Something to give her a start in life."

"Agreed." John said, running a hand through his black hair.

"Second, we are going to tell her-together-that you are her father."

"That's going to be difficult for her."

"Perhaps, but she'll adjust. I can't bear not telling her the truth." Luna snapped. "She deserves to know."

"Last, you will begin having visitations with her as soon as you are released from Hospital. Every other weekend, at first, in my quarters with me present until I see how well you two get along."

"You don't trust me?" He said, halfway mocking her.

"No, that's not it." She said quietly, keeping a tight rein on her temper. "After we tell her that you are her father, I want to keep an eye on her. I don't know how she'll react."

"Are you that worried about it?"

"Well, she started showing signs of magical talent at age 2." Luna replied, toying with the buttons on her teaching robes. "I have learned to keep an eye on her when she plays with other children. Last year, we were at the park, and a boy threw dirt on her…she retaliated. Thank Merlin, it wasn't a Muggle family…the boy's mother was able to cast _Protego_ in time. It was quite embarrassing."

"What did she do, if I may ask?"

"Elizabeth created a wave…of mud. She did it so fast I didn't even have a chance to stop her."

"Merlin's beard…" He said quietly.

"As you see, I think it would be wise for me to be there for visitation…at least, until we have some idea of how she will behave around you."

He considered on what she'd told him for a while, as she waited, drumming her fingers on her knee.

"So…what do we tell her," John asked warily, "when she asks why we aren't together, like other children's parents?"

"We tell her the truth." Luna said sharply, crossing her arms. "There is no relationship between us. In fact, once we have things worked out with visitation, I may start dating again. There's nothing to stop me."

He winced slightly at the last part, but hid it quickly.

The last part was a lie, of course, calculated to hurt him and viciously delivered. It hit its mark, she noted with a degree of satisfaction.

_Good. I don't want you in my life_, she fumed silently. _But you will do right by our daughter._

_So…who are you going to date?_ A little voice nagged at her.

_Shut it_, she thought angrily. _Just shut up. There are plenty of eligible wizards closer to my age than John Worthington._

oOo

John had been out of hospital a week, and was enjoying a sunny afternoon, sitting in the garden, when he spotted Luna walking toward him, Elizabeth in tow. Luna's face looked determined, while Elizabeth just looked a bit confused. As they reached him, Elizabeth recognized him, her face lighting up with a smile.

"Hello, Mr. Walking Stick!" She chirped, "How is your leg today? Is it better now?"

Now Luna looked confused, while Elizabeth chattered merrily along.

"It's a little better today, Elizabeth. It's very nice out today, isn't it?" He said, smiling, though a feeling of dread had stolen over him, knowing why Luna had come with her daughter to find him today.

Luna sat on another bench a few feet away, pointedly, with a sharp glare at John.

"Elizabeth!" She said, a bit sharply, and then realizing she was being too harsh, softened her voice. "We need to tell you something."

Elizabeth looked at her mother, then John, then back to her mother, a look of suspicion mixed with some more merry emotion.

_She's so complex for a child_, Luna thought with a sigh.

She shot a significant look at John, who smiled slightly and shrugged his shoulders.

_You infuriating…oooh, you git._ She raged inside, biting her lip. _You're going to make me do it, aren't you? I'll get even with you for this, I swear it._

"Elizabeth, John Worthington is your father." She said softly.

"Who?" Elizabeth said blankly, a puzzled look on her face.

"Him." Luna said in a shaky voice, pointing at John. "He is John Worthington, and he is your father."

Elizabeth turned and looked at John as he sat there on the bench, her eyes growing wide with surprise. Slowly, she took a step toward him, then two, her lower lip trembling.

"You…you're my daddy?" She said softly, her eyes welling up with tears.

John took a deep breath, and then nodded, unable to speak.

In an instant, she flew to him, leaping up into his lap, her slender arms wrapping around his neck. John dropped his cane, his arms coming up to steady her as Elizabeth wailed into his shoulder.

He looked over at Luna. She was sitting on her bench, blue eyes watching the scene, with an unreadable expression. It seemed to be a mixture of irritation, sadness, guilt, and…something else that he could not discern.

Finally Elizabeth calmed down enough to talk, though she sniffled a bit, and John had to give her his hanky.

"You're really my daddy?" She sniffed, twisting his hanky into a tight rope in nervous hands.

"Yes, I am."

"Where have you been?"

"I was sick, for a long time." John said with a sigh. "I…got hurt at work, and I didn't even know about you. I…I'm sorry that I didn't know about you sooner. I would have come to see you as soon as I could have."

Luna pretended not to be listening, turning her head away, but she could hear every word. Every single word. She was trembling with rage or what, she didn't know.

"Elizabeth, John and I talked a long time before today, and we decided," Luna said, shooting John a frosty glare, "that it was best to tell you the truth."

Emphasis added on the last word, with a meaningful look directed at John.

_Don't you dare lie to my daughter_, she thought angrily.

"Your mum has told me that she would," he glanced at Luna cautiously, "allow me to come visit you on every other weekend, and that if all goes well, you could start spending some weekends with me."

"Really?" Elizabeth said, her eyes shining with tears and joy. "We could be a real family!"

"Um, not really, Elizabeth…" Luna stammered, blushing furiously. "Not just yet. We…we have to…um…there really isn't any sort of relationship between John and me anymore. So we can't be a family, I'm afraid…"

_Oh, Merlin_, she thought uneasily, watching her daughter's mood darken. _Now I've done it._

Elizabeth's face fell, tears bursting forth, her lower lip trembling. She slid off John's lap, clutching her dolly to her chest protectively. Tears running down her cheeks, she glared first at Luna, and then glanced at John with a bit less anger flashing in her eyes.

"Sweetheart, I-"Luna began.

Elizabeth turned to glare at her, wild magic crackling around her hair.

"I hate you!" She shrieked, drawing stares from students and professors in various parts of the garden.

_Oh, Merlin_, Luna thought, _this is a disaster in the making if I don't nip it in the bud._

"Elizabeth Rosemarie! You stop raising that magic right now!" Luna said sharply, wandlessly casting _Protego_ just to be safe.

"I…" Elizabeth sobbed, the magic instantly dissipating from around her. "I…don't understand…if he's my daddy, why can't we be a family?"

Bursting into a wail, she spun away from Luna's outstretched arms, dashing away into the garden.

"Allow me." John said, leaning on his cane and getting up with some effort. Luna watched him, dumbstruck, as he hobbled off in search of his daughter.

_Oh, Merlin_, she sighed. _I've made such a mess of this._

oOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

Author's notes:

I've neglected this story for a long time, and finally got to where I could write a bit more. So talk to me, readers. Likes, dislikes, what do you think?

It's just a story. I write to exorcise demons, to express ideas that flit around inside my head like nargles. Pesky things, keep me up at night.


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